


I Swear

by 221b_hound



Series: Guitar Man [106]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, John Watson Swears a Lot, John Watson has a filthy mouth but a profound heart, Languages and Linguistics, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 19:51:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3990586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221b_hound/pseuds/221b_hound
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nirupa D'Souza is a linguist, so there are many things she has observed about the way John Watson swears - and the things that make him fall utterly silent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Swear

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the song I Swear, by All 4 one. I don't think John Watson's foul mouth is what they meant.

Nirupa D’Souza is a linguist. She’s fascinated by language. She speaks six of them fluently, several more to a conversational level, and she is always picking up new ones as she and Mary travel the world, sometimes with Violet and sometimes without. She has two PhDs, though she doesn’t insist on being called Doctor. It distances her too much from the people she works with, sometimes.

As a linguist, of course, Nirupa delights in John Watson’s rich, deep, full and exceedingly fruity use of the English language to express himself. She actually keeps a notebook in which to record all the phrases he appears to endlessly invent to communicate wrath, surprise, humour, irritation and contempt.

She has only once ever seen him so enraged that no words to express that rage could be found. On that one occasion, he was silent and so apparently calm despite the frost-burn of his eyes that she would have found him terrifying if it wasn’t for the fact that the rage was directed at someone who had dared to attempt to harm Mary. Nirupa would have given odds that if she’d seen her own expression at that time, she’d have frightened herself.

The notebook has a lot of fabulous phrases in it. Phrases like:

  *        Fuck-knuckling monkey-nut.
  *        Piss-witted, snot-brained shitgoblin.
  *        Lumpy ball-sacks for brains
  *        Fuckmuppety dickweasel
  *        Holy fuckwaffle on a stick.



Nirupa has attempted to sketch a holy fuckwaffle on a stick. She is quite a good artist, and some art apps assist wonderfully with colouring. When she showed the result to Sherlock as an experiment in communication filtered through art, he peered at the image of a cunningly folded and moist waffle that was redolent of both fleshly parts and beatific light, wrapped lewdly around what appeared to be a branch. He blinked and frowned, and she saw the moment when the penny dropped and he laughed so hard he cried.

They conspired to print the image onto a shirt for John for his next birthday. He twigged much faster than Sherlock, and laughed so hard he cried and then had the giggling hiccups for two hours after.

People who don’t know John well may hear the mouth on him and believe he is incapable of softer feelings.

Actually, Nirupa is not sure that ‘softer’ would ever describe any of the emotions she has witnessed in John Watson over the years. Everything he feels seems to be deep and strong. She has heard John call Sherlock all kinds of names – pillock and git and bastard and worse – in tones ringing with concern, blooming with affection, stinging with irritation and spiked with anxiety for his safety. John Watson can curse reverently, with fondness, with self-deprecation and with fierce protectiveness, as he puts himself between those he loves and harm. Language, after all, is not only the words people use – it’s the way they use them, the tone of voice and the actions that accompany them.

As a linguist, Nirupa is also an expert in body language, in cultural and social interpretations, in both the collective and individual ways that humans express themselves.

She knows this about John Watson. When he is at his most profoundly moved, he loses all his words. The swearing and the snark and the flippant teasing are all stripped away.

When he holds his infant daughter, or Sherlock’s little son; when he is slow-dancing with Mary; when he is helping Mrs Hudson put away her groceries on days when she's too tired or aching to do it herself; when he brings a bottle of good scotch over to share with Nirupa herself as she recovers from a failed romance; when Sherlock has fallen asleep against his shoulder in a post-case crash and John doesn’t move for fear of waking him… in all of those moments and more, John’s silence is profound and the intense glow of his cobalt blue eyes as he gazes on those he loves is more eloquent than any word, any syllable, could ever be.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a new book coming out next year! I promise it will appeal to Johnlockers. [ Go over here to find out more about it. ](https://www.facebook.com/pages/Improbable-Press/722133377904170)


End file.
